February 4, 2003
Heard any good stories lately?... Let's take five with Moira Gunn. This is "Five Minutes".
I get a lot of amusement overhearing the conversations in the Women's locker room at my sports club. First of all, this is a far cry from the linoleum floors and gray metal cubbyholes of my youth. Wall-to-wall carpeting, tiny oak-fronted wardrobes and staff who wash your workout clothes every night and return them to your locker in the morning are the norm.
Stocked with hairdryers, hairspray and lotions, there's complimentary coffee and a big screen TV. With no cell phones allowed and stacks of clean white towels, who would ever want to leave?
The women themselves range from early twenties to early 60's, with the main bulge (although I hesitate to use that word) being single twenty- and thirty-somethings.
As you might imagine, there's plenty to casually overhear.
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Their conversations are not unlike the ones I had with my own friends when I was their age and in a similar marital state: Have you met anyone lately? How did it go the other night? Do you still hear from Joe?
What's different is that the most accepted form of trying to meet someone is on the Internet, while the idea of singles bars has literally fallen into contempt. But don't think the Internet dating scene is without its problems.
First, there's how to select a date. How many questions are too many, and which questions are inappropriate, even before you decide to proceed. All agree that very early on, you've got to be able to call the person both at work and at home. You've got to have some way to determine if they are who they say they are.
And then there's the first face-to-face meeting.
I had imagined the first in-person date to be ten minutes over a café latte, just to see if the fellow has actually taken a shower in the last week and comes somewhere close to the description proffered on the Internet.
Boy, was I wrong. These women take things into their own hands, and strategically plan to uncover even more information.
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One gal always wants to be sure the person is up for new experiences, so she took one fellow sky-diving ... as a surprise. He was a little green around the gills when she announced her intention, but she said he got through with it all right - then again, he never called her back.
Another woman likes to take her first dates out to a lecture and then go out for a meal. This gives them something to talk about, in addition to the lulling litany of their life histories. Sounded pretty safe, but there is peril here, as well. In an attempt to establish one poor fellow's open-mindedness, she arranged to take him to a lecture given by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. While close to indescribable, the Sisters are a celebrated local gay social activism group with less than typical respect for things ecclesiastical. Needless to say, the man quickly fled.
It's only rumor to me what actually gets talked about in men's locker rooms, but if these guys spend any time describing their dates, I've got to believe it's a lot more fun over there, too.
I'm Moira Gunn. This is Five Minutes.
